Power to Flourish {#WholeMama}

I sit here today. Blank. Devoid of thought. Struggling to think on the word “Power.”

I don’t know if it is the current world events. The struggles that the people of this world are facing. In their communities and within their own hearts. The lines being drawn in the earth that we are tired. That.it.is.enough. That it is time to stand against the power of privilege. Time to stand against the power of hate. Time to stand for the marginalized. The forgotten. To stand firm. With power.

I don’t know if it is potty training my Sweet Boy-Child. It is only day 1. And I have been peed on. And he has had 6 poop accidents. That might be too much information. But friends, if you only knew. And maybe you do, maybe you’ve been there or find yourself there too. And if you haven’t, you are welcome to join in on this mess anytime.

So today. Tonight. I sit. And I am just here. A little raw. A little tired. And in need of some power.

And when I think of that word, power, in regards to this thing called motherhood, I think of the power it takes to be a mom. To mother, and to mother {mostly} well. The power it takes to fight for your littles when they cannot fight for themselves. That power that recognizes when something isn’t right and fights for it. Even when that means you are not understood. Even when that means you are marginalized. You fight. The power to endure screaming, not sleeping, not eating well, never being alone, never having silence, and I could go on and on and… The power to do it all. The power to be it all. To be everything for everyone. To do everything for everyone.

And I am tired just thinking about it all. Thinking about all mothering has come to be. To mean. To do. The weight of it all. All falling on one flawed human being. And here I am. Raw. Telling you, I.AM.NOT.ENOUGH. I’m not. I cannot be it all. I cannot do it all. I can hardly do some. And that’s okay. In fact, that’s great. Because I was never meant to do it all. To be it all. To be enough. No, I was meant to be me. And that is something I have been learning these last few months. That I am more than mom. I am more than wife. I am more than a crocheter or a small business owner. I am a child of God. And HE. He, friends, is enough. All I am asked to do, is follow Him. Follow where He leads and obey. Right now, part of where I am is mothering. I am a mom. But that is not WHO I am. And when I step back and remember. Remember that I love being a mom. I love being a wife. I love having a small business. But when I remember that I love God. Spending time with Him. Hearing His voice. When I see the things I love to do through the lens of Whose I am, I have power. I can rise up. I can mother better. With power. Without exhaustion. I can love my husband better. I can love those around with more intention. And I can be Christ to those around me.

That is true power. And when we cling to that power, we have the power to flourish. To come alive. To grow into who we were designed to be all along. When we cling to that grace-filled power, we are free. Free to more. Free to love more. Free, even at times, to do more. Because more work done with a strong God, doesn’t feel like work at all. Instead it feels like thriving. It feels like growing. It feels like rising up. That is power. And that, is grace.

Today I am joining Esther Emery for the #WholeMama link up. I am excited to be in a community of mama bloggers that are willing to be real, vulnerable and honest. But most of all, that can show the amazing beauty and grace through it all. Each week we will be discussing one word and what it means to each of us. I would love if you joined in too! You can find more information on the original #WholeMama post, here.