Four Years Ago

A look back…

I will never forget. Four years ago. Laying, expectant and anxious for you to arrive. And for your dad to arrive. I knew I was in labor, but I was a week too early. But I knew. Oh my sweet, precious boy, I knew you then – though I had not yet met you. I knew you as I know you today. I knew you were ready.


And you were. Four years ago, after your dad made it to the hospital, you arrived. Precious and perfect. I still have never seen a baby as beautiful as you. Though this c-section was my most difficult, I was overwhelmed with joy.


You entered a land of craziness. You have two older siblings, and though your older brother loved you and couldn’t wait to hold you, your older sister frowned when she first met you. You won her over as she grew and now the two of you are close friends. Four years ago, you won a lot of other people over, though. You are a special one, my darling boy. You draw people to you somehow. And it is beautiful.


Three years ago. It was a fun year. You learned to walk and run quickly – you had big siblings to keep up with! And you never stopped. You tagged along for every experience. You weren’t quite sure of it all (like the waves at the beach), but you did it. You tried it all. You were brave.


Yet, in the midst of your running and adventuring, you loved to snuggle. You were my truest baby. You see, even after you turned one, you didn’t want to get rid of the cuddles and hugs. And I didn’t either.


Oh precious little boy. Two years ago, life started to get more difficult. Communication wasn’t easy for you. But there were smiles and giggles despite the hard moments.


It didn’t get better for you, though. Two years ago, also saw the birth of your baby brother. We all love that little boy, but it’s been a hard transition for you. Or rather, hard to get used to the crazy and unpredictability of your baby brother. There are moments, and there is hope.


Two years ago was a time of you discovering your voice, your opinions, your likes and dislikes. It was a time of you knowing yourself. Though it was hard, I am so thankful for this time. So thankful that you were learning more about the boy I already knew.


One year ago, you began preschool. It was a transition you were eager for, yet also nervous for. But just as you did when you were one, you moved forward bravely. Though you were three, cuddling and snuggling were still favorite activities. And I love looking through all the pictures of you and I sitting and smiling together.


Your curls were beginning to become waves, and I realized (slowly) that you were growing up. Already.


The growth of this year is unbelievable. It’s something I just can’t describe with words, and I love words. But sweet boy, you have embraced life and learning. You have grasped words and sentences. You are understanding so much more about the experiences around us. I am so proud of you, my little one.

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Today, I wish you the happiest of birthdays. I wish that this year of FOUR is special for you. I pray you seek and learn new things. I pray you are brave and strong, especially when your baby brother drives you crazy. I am so very proud of you. And I love you more than you will ever know.

Okay, so to be honest with you all, Boy-Child’s birthday was about a month ago. But four years ago + a month isn’t super catchy. Thank you for the grace in my inconsistency and my posts that are a month behind. If you want to keep up with us in ‘real time,’ I would love for you to join me on Instagram

love to you


One thought on “Four Years Ago

  1. Oh Ashley, I love how deeply and honestly you share your experiences as a woman and mother. Your words often make me laugh, and sometimes cry, and they reawaken my memories of my own children as they were growing up. But even though my boy-child and girl-child are now adults and in complete charge of their own lives, you remind me what a privilege it is to be part of the female sisterhood. Thank you 🙂


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