This Is How We Do It: Date Your Spouse

I’m just going to say it. I am so excited for this topic and I’m so nervous for this topic. Dating your spouse. It is so important yet so very easy to loose sight of. I will be the first to admit that I have lost sight and forgotten the importance of the relationship with my husband. We have been married for 10.5 years and our relationship has seen a lot of life change, including, our 4 children.

All that to say, I am really looking forward to hearing your ideas, tips, and thoughts on this month’s This Is How We Do It: Date Your Spouse. If you have a blog, I would love if you would link up a post (information is at the end of this post) and share your tips! If you don’t have a blog, leave your ideas in the comments! The goal of this link up is to create a community that shares ideas to help each other grow. We were never designed to live this life on our own, and this is another avenue for that community.


Okay, here we go! Dating your spouse.

Honestly, our relationship has seen so many different types of dating. We have spent tons of time together having fun, playing games, going on dates, binge-watching shows… We have also had those quick dates where we are actually surrounded by our children, but we grab a picture just the two of us or we walk behind all of them and pretend to not be counting children. (You know, to make sure we don’t lose any of them.) Lately, we have tried to be intentional and have a mix of both. We enjoy our nights at home relaxing and watching our favorite shows. We go out a few nights a month and catch a movie or eat dinner. Or if we are extra lucky, both! And the in between days, we pick up food and eat it while watching a movie I stole borrowed from my sister. Or we will go on a walk with the kids and chat as we push strollers and bikes up the hills.

Each of these dates are great and help to build our relationship. Even those small “dates,” the ones where we are surrounded by our children and can hardly focus on each other. Because those dates are real life and they remind us of the importance of each other. Those everyday dates remind me that my husband thinks I matter enough to stop and talk to me. Those everyday dates remind my husband that I think he is more important than our children. 

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Marriage: Learning What’s Important: Part One

Today is a special day: I have been asked to guest post with Katie at Hot Tea and the Empty Seat! I am so honored to be a monthly contributor there, because, honestly, I love the supportive and truthful community she is creating there. I would be so honored if you would join us over there today!

Today on Hot Tea and the Empty Seat, I am sharing a little of what I have learned about marriage.

Greg and I met in high school. We went to college together. We have been married for 10+ years, have 4 children, and  had so much life happen since we first met 14 years ago.

We have learned a lot from those early years of young love. We chuckle and smile at the innocence of those days. The “perfect-ness” of our marriage. We laugh at the idea of spending endless times with just the two of us. It’s hard to even imagine not having at least one child come to sit with us, talk to us, need help from one of us.

Please understand I am not saying: that we understand each other more, we are perfectly able to interpret each other’s needs more, we are less selfish, or that we have a perfect marriage. Because, honestly, none of that is even remotely true. In fact, when I first thought about writing a post on marriage I thought, “There’s no way I can write about this! Even though we have been married for 10 years, I still have no idea what we are doing! Each day we are learning grace for one another and for our children. We are trying be intentional about finding time for one another while giving our children that time they need. We are still learning to fight fair, how to talk to each other, and how to really listen to what the other has to say.”

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