The Ugly Motherhood Moment

A few weeks ago, I had the privilege to attend Hope Spoken. If you’ve never heard of this women’s conference, you should check it out. 

It was a beautiful time away. A time of quiet. A time of rest. A time of community. A time of worship. A time that left me feeling refreshed. 

  

And so you can imagine my shock when I stepped foot back into my house. My home filled with the ones I love. Filled with love. And need. Constant need. 

Gone were the quiet, peace-filled days. Gone was the endless food, prepared by other hands. Gone was the incredible fellowship. 

And it was replaced by boogers. (Literally. I’m not calling my kids boogers. Though it may or may not be true.) It was replaced with shouts. And screams, let’s be real. It was replaced by exhaustion. It was replaced by rough mornings. Tough moments. Tears. It was replaced with strain. 

I thought the weekend of rest would prepare me for re-entering real life. The #Momlife. 

But instead. Instead it was ugly. Instead I was ugly. 

Ingratitude reared its ugly head. And if I’m honest, it stuck around for longer than I’d care to admit. 

As the days continued, thanklessness followed. So I pushed into my daily practice of gratitude. I served my family. I cleaned, organized, shuttled. Though my heart struggled to catch up to my actions. 

And it’s taken those small moments to urge me back to gratitude. The moments of sweet smiles and messy kisses. The moments of toothy (and toothless) grins. The whispers of love as the lights are turned out. 

Well, it’s taken those small moments and wise friends. Friends that remind me of truth, of who I am. Friends that remind me why I chose motherhood. And friends that remind me that the struggle, the mess, and even the ugly are normal. Friends that point me back to the Word: “But He said to me, ‘ My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, than I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) 

Though it was a struggle for a few weeks, I am thankful for it. It was a reminder to walk with Him in gratitude. An example of how to come back to the richness of His grace. 

And a great reason to plan a trip back to sunshine-y Texas ASAP. ūüėČ 

Have you had an ‘ugly mom’ moment, day, or week? How did you escape it? 

June: Celebrating Grace

June has been a month of transitions. School ended. Summer began. Family trip to Florida. Potty training. Change upon change. Transition upon transition. And I know we still aren’t done.

Life is tricky like that. We get used to it. We accept the hard and the beautiful parts of our season. And then. Just like that, it changes. It alters before we even notice the last season is gone. Before we really get to celebrate it, it passes. So this month, we have been trying to celebrate. Each milestone. Each change. Each new word. Because we know. We know how easy it is to move on. To move on before we even realize it is happening. We know the kids get older and older and time won’t stop. We know that the summer will race past us, hopefully filled with adventures, and then it will be gone and we will be frantically purchasing school supplies and preparing for a new year.

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The Reality of Quiet Time

After my last post, This Is How We Do It: Me Time, I realized I need to share a few things. So here we go, Me Time Part II.

ME TOO

So many have commented that they squeeze in me time during naps and bed times. Me too, friends, me too! Are you kidding, I think the only way I have any sanity left, are those glorious breaks in the day, where technically my children are supposed to be quietly napping! The last 5 years have been like that for me too. I even switched my 1 year old to one nap/day earlier than he really should have so that my two youngest could nap at the same time. That is how much I needed need naps/quiet times to happen. Right now, I find myself in a strange place where my eldest is in school every day, my second is in school 3 mornings a week, my third is in school every morning, and I am left with one child. That coupled with the strange 1-2 hour break in the morning, basically waiting to pick up the kids from preschools, has given me this glorious time that I can intentionally carve out for me. Well me and a few random errands, diaper changes, laundry, and dishes. But mostly for me. (Truth time, right now, I am also using it to go through a box or two that never got unpacked from our basement.)

And come summer, I will have to start again with finding a perfect time for me. Sadly, with my 2 olders, nap time is less about me and more about the older kids. I pray I can still find a way to carve out some morning time for me, and some independent time for the kids. If I’m honest, having them all home with no plans FREAKS ME OUT. I love having slow mornings, and I think I know quiet time is so important. So this is me, honestly telling you, I may have a great quiet time schedule right now, but in a month, I will be back in the old boat – scrambling trying to scavenge a few minutes from our day here and there, that can be just for me – to help me grow and find rest.

SOME DAYS ARE JUST PLAIN HARD

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This is How We Do It: Grocery Shopping

HOW DO YOU DO IT ALL?

Have you ever been asked how you do it all? No matter what you do: work, work & home life, or as a stay at home parent; how do you do it? ALL of it. 

I know people mean this as a compliment. It’s said to those that seem to be handling juggling life pretty well. It’s said to those who must have finally figured out the perfect way of managing time to complete everything and make everyone happy.

I am going to ruin this for you – but I am not that person. I know, it’s kind of a shock. I am amazing. (I am also ever so slightly sarcastic.) But really, I am NOT¬†that amazing. I most definitely do not do¬†it all. And if I did, I really would not be doing it very well.

In fact, I am writing this as I sit on the couch, staring at piles of clean but unfolded laundry. Laundry that is now strewn around the family room floor because my 18 month old is slightly unhappy that I ignored his requests for endless snacks. But how I do laundry is for a different day.

So why am I telling you this? Why am I breaking down whatever “competent, do it all, stay at home mom” image I had?

I’m sharing my messy life, because I want you to know that I don’t know what I’m doing. Yes, I may have figured a few things out. But if having four kids has taught me anything, it has taught me that I have a lot to learn and that I need to constantly adapt and learn new ways to make life work. I am always re-evaluating what to prioritize each day. And really, when I should just scrap it all and go play¬†outside. If I’m honest, that happens the most.

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THIS IS HOW WE DO IT: GROCERY SHOPPING 

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