I sit here tonight, thinking on the fall. The weather has finally hit “winter” temperatures and as winter steadily approaches, it has left me looking back at this past season. It has left me remembering. I remember the family moments, the growth. I remember the hard days. The difficult conversations. And I remember my word for fall: purposeful.
I always feel like the seasons are long. Specifically, fall seems to span so much. So many changes in weather, days, activities. It is my favorite time of the year: beautiful weather, my favorite moments, and lots of birthdays. This year, I craved a purposeful fall. A fall filled with intentionality. Intentional conversations. Intentional interactions. Intentional invitations. And there were moments. But for the most part, I’m honestly not sure.
I haven’t shared this here, on my blog, but this fall my church home announced a change. A transition. And if you’re at all like me, unforeseen change rocks you. A lot. I am thankful for God’s grace in it and through it all. Because it caused me to pause. To take a step back. To evaluate. To re-evaluate.
And that’s a good thing. It creates intention. So while I sit and reflect on this fall, I initially remember my failures: I did not intentionally meet new families. I did not purposefully jump into deeper community with new friends. Instead, I paused. I had to wait for God. I had to listen. I had to be still.
Being still is hard. Really hard. So this fall was hard. Really hard.
Yet today, as I sit and remember. As I sit still, quiet, and small. I see intentionality. It doesn’t look quite as I anticipated. Quite as I had planned. But it is there, in the waiting. I was intentional with the questions I asked. I was intentional with spiritual disciplines. I was purposeful every morning as I sat coffee, Bible, and journal in hand. I was intentional with my deep relationships.
It may not have been easy. Honestly, it wasn’t very pretty either. But it was purposeful. It was a time filled with difficult intentionality. Some parts were beautiful, while others were hard and ugly. There were difficult conversations. And new friendships. Strong friendships.
As I sit here in the quiet of a house of children at bedtime, I can rest knowing that God is faithful. He guided me, taught me what intentionality looks like. What living purpose-filled looks like. And that sometimes it looks completely unlike anything I could have imagined.
And even when it’s hard and uncomfortable, it creates beauty. Because it creates a deeper reliance on Him.
As winter, and the seemingly unending holiday season, approaches I will be signing off, until the new year. I am excited for all 2016 will bring. I am excited for new blog posts. For the ideas flowing in my head and on paper. I am excited for all I am learning as I daily read the Bible. I am excited for new relationships. For new spaces and places to grow.
With that, I will leave you with my word for this winter: Anticipation. As you can see, I look forward to this new season. It leaves me wondering, hoping for more. For beauty. For truth. For grace. And I know God is always faithful. And so this winter, this new season, leaves me full of anticipation.
What word will you choose for this new season? Do you feel hopeful anticipation, purposeful, or maybe grace-filled? I would love to hear in the comments below. Or, as always, fill out the connect form if you would like to talk more!